As much as our marriage was at a snail’s pace becoming repaired, it was only about a month from when we started to do the repairing before the crash that has forever changed our lives.
I wasn’t ready to forgive, I wasn’t ready to trust, I wasn’t ready to believe in a forever in my marriage. I was not even remotely close to these points, but God was. We had just changed churches before our marriage hitting bottom. We didn’t really know people, but at the time that was a good thing for me because it meant my past either rumored or truth could not follow me anymore. I had the chance to just be me; honest about my past and honest about my present with no one there to try and say I wasn’t honest. I was ready to be done with the drama that could have been avoided if people would listen rather than just judge on speculation for a long time. Having this be the time for the end of the drama was one of the best points for me despite my home life being in the midst of chaos. I could be honest with the chaos, how we were handling it, and more without added drama. This really was my own place of starting to heal, and eliminate “scar tissue” from all I had thought I had forgiven, but had not gotten the chance to also forget.
For about a week I kept having horrifying dreams of being in a roll over crash. With each dream the details became clearer, and it was to a point where it involved my kids & I. I have always had a form of a sixth sense, which more accurately has been God’s voice guiding me or showing me things either to give peace or allow for some things to change when they actually happened. This was one of those times.
The day we crashed, I woke up with an unshakable feeling of “you’re going to roll and it will be ok.” The road conditions were not favorable to drive in, and we would be driving both of our vehicles to our destination in these conditions. Was it crazy to still plan to not only drive to the north metro from the south, despite that feeling? My own answer was simply no. I wanted to be at the first family Christmas for the year, despite all that was in my head and showing to be unfavorable to be there. The closer we got to leaving the louder the voice was in my head. When the crash occurred we were not all that far from home, but had made it onto the main highway we would need to get to our destination.
The day (Dec 21, 2008) had started out so normal, and nice. We were getting ready to go to Christmas at my aunt's. We were a little late, but by no means rushed. We chose to Drive slower than most to ensure not having issues with the black ice. This would all soon not matter much. A van in front of me had cleaned off no part of their vehicle except their windows. You could hardly see that it was red from how snow covered the driver had left it. Apparently this snow was also ice. We had been behind them the majority of our route in progress, when suddenly a chunk of ice looking quite daggerish and larger than a softball flattened, came flying off their vehicle toward my head. I was just praying it didn't break through my window knowing the results if it had.
I had the 3 kids in my Jeep as Colin was following in his Jeep, so he could make it to work that night and leave Christmas early. The ice shattered my window while we were on the highway not going too slow, but still nowhere near the speeds posted. I couldn't see anything as it literally came at my head, which is where it shattered and bounced up, not proceeding into my face. This I was thankful for, but now had to try to explain to Colin I needed him to guide me toward an exit. As I was trying to tell Colin I couldn't see to drive further, I hit black ice. He heard me scream and that was it. I slid sideways across the lanes of traffic hit the curb, went nose (front bumper) down, flipped onto the driver’s side near the roof, slid in this position, then felt like we were completely on the roof basically stopped. From that point we flipped onto the tires, which I knew was God answering prayer. We should not have had enough momentum in the basically stopped vehicle to flip back onto the tires.
When all was said and done I had my window and mirror busted all over me, the kids were fine but shaken up, there was snow and all the lose debris from the Jeep piling me in, and I was quite frozen. We landed on the wheels, which I was praying for following the prayer of the ice not taking out my head. I somehow missed my airbag sensor from being engaged by a about an inch. I walked to Colin’s Jeep sore in a few places, bruised a bit, with minor cuts and glass all over me that I could feel. The kids had no cuts or bruises, no injuries at all despite Lexi (4 at the time) not being in a booster seat. JT (5mo old born preemie at the time) had a 20pound Chevy starter land on him, and was still completely perfect upon paramedic inspection. Mick was on my side of the vehicle, with no glass ending up on him from either of the 2 windows or the mirrors.
I refused to be taken to the hospital or checked out. I had a first aid kit (actually both vehicles did since we are first responder trained) that I made the stranger who stopped to help us find. I cleaned my wounds, and waited to finish the police report and tow information. From there I told Colin we were going to Christmas as I was not letting something that “would be minor in the grand scheme of things ruin Christmas for my kids.” We showed up with no gifts, and had a wonderful first Christmas. I vacuumed my jacket off to remove the glass I could feel when we arrived; I borrowed clothes from my aunt to finish getting the glass off of me, and was in shock, but overall fine for that day.
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