2017-Broken neck blessing

In 2017, I found a new doctor, and had set up an appointment with him, because I needed an annual recheck, as well as my arm was back to zinging more than it had been consistently, in a long time. We were 13 days away from that appointment, when we were rear-ended a mile from the hospital our daughter was scheduled for surgery at. She had broken her arm for the second time in 5 months, and needed rods. Thankfully, we weren't rear-ended at highway speeds, because it was stop and go traffic. We heard tires screeching, and knew we were going to be hit (as adults, our daughter was surprised by it). Instantly I felt my neck break, plus it made that undeniable sound, that only people who have experienced it understand. The officer that responded, was very upset I wouldn't take an ambulance from the scene. We had already called the hospital to let them know we were going to be late for check in, so they were very upset I wouldn't go straight to the ER at that point too. My neck had never broken before, and though we didn't know it then, it wasn't a true break, but it did finish my unhealed fusion off, which is similar to a break due to it being donor bone grafted with my bone. I was refusing to be seen until my daughter was in surgery, because as much as the break sensation was new, all the symptoms of previous neck issues prior to surgery were the same. I knew how to deal with it.

We ended up fighting for quite a bit on this new neck damage, because the place that had failed me in 2014 insisted there wasn't new damage, despite there being severe damage and side effects. Thankfully, I had that new doctor who had been recommended based on me having a great conversation with someone whose scans matched what I had wanted surgically since the beginning, but couldn't get approved before. He believed me, he saw all the changes, and showed us there was a bone spur that would have also had to be fixed, even if the fusion hadn't failed, as well as another level being bad that the other clinic had missed. I was going into surgery, and they would be fixing three things, not one.

On the day of surgery, he completely changed the type of fusion he was going to use, without prior authorization, because it would give me the best outcome. I ended up being completely brace free in under 2 weeks from that surgery. He had wanted me to be brace free right away, but it was too difficult at first due to how much my neck had atrophied from the break. I could move my neck into healthy posture, without any problems. That alone made me cry tears of joy frequently. He gave me instructions that were harder than anyone had allowed me to work after all of the previous three surgeries, and knowing I could push my limits like that, was mentally renewing as well. I was able to chew within a few weeks, instead of months like the previous surgery. I was active, and focused again, and back to feeling as normal as I could, after years of needing more care than people knew.
That being said, there are some disclaimers I should add in here. First, with each surgery I have a three to six month window, where the internal swelling or healing masks quite a bit, before it suddenly settles into what will be the new normal. Once it does settle, it isn't always horrible, but it does always shift my activity level or abilities backwards for a brief time, while I learn how to gauge what all I can do before hitting the point I would need to take my medicine. Due to this shift, I often hear people ask me how I was doing so well, and then seemed to stop. I didn't stop, it's just a temporary shift, and sometimes I don't have the thought process to phrase it like this. Also, if I am having a good day going into my follow ups, I often forget to mention new long term problems that have occured, so not all of my symptoms are charted unless I bring Colin with, because he makes lists for me, and I appreciate that detail. Second, active for me isn't normal people active, but I am pushing that as much as possible now too, since I was encouraged to do so by my doctor. When I say I was active, I went from around 500 steps a day during my neck being broken, to surgery, to over 1,000, then 2,500, then up to 5,000 once a week. I was averaging 2,500 at least three days though, which was huge progress. I know that doesn't put me in healthy range, but I was talking, chewing, driving, and doing more with my family than I had been in a long time, so overall it was huge.

I really have been living differently after three to seven years of limits. I have more side effects if I push it too much, but I can typically focus and handle details I couldn't before due to pain levels and emotional turmoil. I have been enjoying life, even on bad days. I have been doing better as a mom and wife, as well as spiritually changing back to aspects of who I was personality wise as well as actual spiritual discipline that isn't perfect, but many are noticing the differences in all 5 of us as a whole.

I am a walking miracle, and I don't know what the future holds, or how long things will be ok or unchanged, but I love that I get the chance to do as much as possible, as often as possible. I still have to rest 2-3 days a week, and sometimes I have to avoid phone calls or talking to help my body recover, but I'm not paralyzed, I'm not dead, and I can do more than I had been able to do in years. Many who hear parts of my story, or get concerned if I post about a bad day, don't always understand this full story. I'm extremely grateful for all the people who came alongside us and helped with the kids, or other elements during my healing. We so needed them for so many reasons, and even if it was short term help, it was big at the time.